DEATH TO THE CORPORATE LACKEY!!!!

Pretty catchy title, eh Blogaroos? It's what's known in the blogging biz as a "catchy title." I won't really be blogging about the methods of exterminating corporate lackeys. There are better blogs for that kind of thing. Try DeathToLackeys.com, KillTheLackeys.com, TheLackeySolution.org or LackeyBeGone.com.
Now, I just want faithful reader, Bernard T. Lackey to understand that I am not out to get him. And, Bernard I don't think your dry cleaner is out to get you either. I do, however, think you're right about your wife. I'd sleep in the bathtub with the door locked for awhile if I were you. Actually, if I really WERE you I'd hop the first Eastbound Dog for Twin Griddles, Utah for a chance at a more pleasant and fulfilling life. Or at least a life where you can trust your oatmeal. You wife is one crazy bitch. I saw you guys on Montel Williams and Montel Williams thought she was one crazy bitch, and Montel has seen some shit.

Notes and Errata

I was at one of those all-day company workshops the other day. Something to do with "innovation," or "insinuation," or whatever. Something that starts with "i." Anyway, like at most of these corporate covens, attendees are asked to stand and give their name, what they do and why they're there. This time we were asked to name an innovation we thought was important (so I guess I was right, the meeting was about "innovation.") Most people said things like the internet, or cell phones. When the goose, goose, duck feather got to me I stood up, gave my name, rank and serial number and said I believed the advances made by pharmaceutical companies in developing mood stabilizing drugs was my favorite innovation.

Everyone laughed.

What they didn't realize is that it took a half a bottle of ativan, four xanax and a qualuude to get through the meeting without feeling compelled to leap out of my seat and rip out my neighbor's carotid artery with my teeth.

How funny would that have been, huh?